NINE OF SWORDS

ANXIETY

This morning I had a bit of a melt down. I have been feeling so swept away by the overwhelming current of the last few years. I really don't want to be a mechanic, and I have been feeling so much like I HAVE to be,in order to meet some kind of expectation. Don't know just how this all came about, but I have been so stifled by it all. Sooo, I have decided not to do the teaching job, but focus on just what I really want to do. Which is probably more in the fiber arena.

I will have to figure out how to earn some money, but what I want to do is make art and when I finish it, then see about making money from it.

It is so liberating: imagine the freedom from HAVING to do something I really don't want to do. Tension just slips away. Ahhh, I might even feel like myself again. I get all teary just thinking of it.